Let me start this off by saying this post is bias... I'm a woman... If you want to see what the dating world looks like from a guy's view then you've come to the wrong place.
The way men in the dating world treat, approach, and talk to women is simply appalling....
There... I said it... gentlemen (and I use that loosely) get your act together!
Now don't get me wrong...there are good men out there. Good Christian men who understand how a woman should and needs to be treated and talked to but it is no shocker that those men are in short supply these days...perhaps even a minority...endangered of being lost in the crowd of vulgar and disrespectful men.
If I still have your attention and didn't lose you with my description of most single men then good. I don't want you to think I am one of those women who uses the phrase "all men are the same" because once again, I do believe there are good Christian men out there. I'm simply using my experiences and recent interactions to speak to how frustrating it is to be a single woman...how much it makes my heart sink deep into my chest as if it were hiding from any further aching...how aggravating it is to have a man not realize what you are worth.
I recently ran across a guy friend from a few years ago that had been diagnosed with cancer. We struck up a conversation on Facebook and I asked how he was feeling...just checking in on his health...how was the diagnosis after the past few months.
His response... "I'm well enough for a one night stand if you're interested".
Excuse me? which is when he played it off as a joke and told me I should learn to not be so uptight.
Stop being so uptight.
That phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Why am I uptight because I think you are disrespecting me? Why am I labeled uptight because I called you out on your bad "joke"? When did the word uptight become something that people are labeled when they feel the need to stand up?
Maybe you agree with him...maybe you think I should have laughed and said no thanks, good joke..
ha...ha...ha...
But I didn't laugh and I'm not uptight. I'm just over the culture our generation is embracing. I'm over the sweeping under the rug of sex jokes, forward flirting, and uncalled for conversations that women are being asked to be okay with these days.
For those of you that have known me for a while you know the old me and I will be honest...
Before I decided to follow God wholeheartedly...in my days of being a luke-warm Christian... I was on board with the one night stands, pre-marital sex, and I wasn't so "uptight".
I realized I was worth more.
You need to realize she is worth more.
Again... I am calling out Christian men because this is from my perspective as a Christian woman.
I'm not sure what many of you are thinking as you are reading this.
Some of you may think I need to lighten up.
Some of you may think that's just how it is these days...our culture isn't as conservative as it use to be.
Well isn't that a shame!
I have felt that heart sinking feeling way too many times the last few years...that feeling where you enjoyed that date you just went on and you think "finally a guy who actually wants to get to know me" but then you realize you were wrong. It's a hurtful feeling, a frustrating feeling, and a feeling that makes you wonder...
At times I've wanted to just scream...
Why do you feel like you need to comment on my body?
I bet you didn't know that I have the best sense of humor...I'm basically hilarious.
I bet you didn't realize that I've traveled to 28 countries and my experiences of the world outweigh your thoughts of me in the bedroom.
I bet you didn't stop to think how good I am at fixing things, building things, or creating new things from my ideas.
You didn't realize any of that because you were too busy thinking about the physical things you wanted from me.
Whether you women want to admit it or not...whether you have stopped to think about it or not...whether you have felt that way or not...you are worth more.
For those of you who are thinking I'm at the end of my rope with dating or I've given up...
Stop.
Please don't write to me and tell me "you'll find him" or "you have so much to offer...just need to wait for the right one"
I know all these things and I'm not in search of those kinds of conversations or words (as harsh as that may sound). I know I will find him but this isn't just about "him".
It's about all of them...
All of the men who think speaking disrespectfully to a woman isn't a big deal or making sexual remarks towards her/about her is all fun and games...
From a woman who use to be the one night stand girl to the Christian woman who is seeking respect and love and for goodness sake...some dignity... think before you speak.
Speak to her with words of encouragement and she will raise you up.
Treat her with dignity and she will see you as the man you are.
Realize her worth as a woman of Christ and she will be your biggest fan.
She's worth more.
The way men in the dating world treat, approach, and talk to women is simply appalling....
There... I said it... gentlemen (and I use that loosely) get your act together!
Now don't get me wrong...there are good men out there. Good Christian men who understand how a woman should and needs to be treated and talked to but it is no shocker that those men are in short supply these days...perhaps even a minority...endangered of being lost in the crowd of vulgar and disrespectful men.
If I still have your attention and didn't lose you with my description of most single men then good. I don't want you to think I am one of those women who uses the phrase "all men are the same" because once again, I do believe there are good Christian men out there. I'm simply using my experiences and recent interactions to speak to how frustrating it is to be a single woman...how much it makes my heart sink deep into my chest as if it were hiding from any further aching...how aggravating it is to have a man not realize what you are worth.
I recently ran across a guy friend from a few years ago that had been diagnosed with cancer. We struck up a conversation on Facebook and I asked how he was feeling...just checking in on his health...how was the diagnosis after the past few months.
His response... "I'm well enough for a one night stand if you're interested".
Excuse me? which is when he played it off as a joke and told me I should learn to not be so uptight.
Stop being so uptight.
That phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Why am I uptight because I think you are disrespecting me? Why am I labeled uptight because I called you out on your bad "joke"? When did the word uptight become something that people are labeled when they feel the need to stand up?
Maybe you agree with him...maybe you think I should have laughed and said no thanks, good joke..
ha...ha...ha...
But I didn't laugh and I'm not uptight. I'm just over the culture our generation is embracing. I'm over the sweeping under the rug of sex jokes, forward flirting, and uncalled for conversations that women are being asked to be okay with these days.
For those of you that have known me for a while you know the old me and I will be honest...
Before I decided to follow God wholeheartedly...in my days of being a luke-warm Christian... I was on board with the one night stands, pre-marital sex, and I wasn't so "uptight".
I realized I was worth more.
You need to realize she is worth more.
Again... I am calling out Christian men because this is from my perspective as a Christian woman.
I'm not sure what many of you are thinking as you are reading this.
Some of you may think I need to lighten up.
Some of you may think that's just how it is these days...our culture isn't as conservative as it use to be.
Well isn't that a shame!
I have felt that heart sinking feeling way too many times the last few years...that feeling where you enjoyed that date you just went on and you think "finally a guy who actually wants to get to know me" but then you realize you were wrong. It's a hurtful feeling, a frustrating feeling, and a feeling that makes you wonder...
At times I've wanted to just scream...
Why do you feel like you need to comment on my body?
I bet you didn't know that I have the best sense of humor...I'm basically hilarious.
I bet you didn't realize that I've traveled to 28 countries and my experiences of the world outweigh your thoughts of me in the bedroom.
I bet you didn't stop to think how good I am at fixing things, building things, or creating new things from my ideas.
You didn't realize any of that because you were too busy thinking about the physical things you wanted from me.
Whether you women want to admit it or not...whether you have stopped to think about it or not...whether you have felt that way or not...you are worth more.
For those of you who are thinking I'm at the end of my rope with dating or I've given up...
Stop.
Please don't write to me and tell me "you'll find him" or "you have so much to offer...just need to wait for the right one"
I know all these things and I'm not in search of those kinds of conversations or words (as harsh as that may sound). I know I will find him but this isn't just about "him".
It's about all of them...
All of the men who think speaking disrespectfully to a woman isn't a big deal or making sexual remarks towards her/about her is all fun and games...
From a woman who use to be the one night stand girl to the Christian woman who is seeking respect and love and for goodness sake...some dignity... think before you speak.
Speak to her with words of encouragement and she will raise you up.
Treat her with dignity and she will see you as the man you are.
Realize her worth as a woman of Christ and she will be your biggest fan.
She's worth more.
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