It Really Works

The end of a job I loved came so unexpectedly on Monday.

I thought I would be with Girl Scouts for years to come...It was my career and was a part of who I was as a person. If I wasn't at work, I was talking about work, I was wearing work on my shirt, and I was drinking out of my coffee mug that screams "Girls Matter".

But things didn't go the way I expected them to go. My time with Girl Scouts came to an end...

And it will be O.K.

Don't get me wrong...I absolutely hate not working there anymore. I hate sitting at home prepping my resume for the dozens of jobs that I'm sending it to. I hate not knowing what to say to people when they ask "What do you do for a living?". I hate feeling like I don't have a direction or purpose right now.

And it will be O.K.

I had my 20 minutes of breakdown when my car pulled through the gates one last time. It was hard to catch my breath for a while. My perfectly done makeup ran down my cheeks as I listened to the things I had stored in my desk rattling in a box in my backseat. The leftover McDonald's napkin in my car was stained with blackened tears...but only for a little while.

I couldn't explain to you why I am handling it so well. I couldn't understand how I am not curled up in a ball of devastation. I wondered why I wasn't held up in my apartment refusing to talk to people or go out and be social...and then it hit me.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

I have spent the last 2 years rebuilding my connection and relationship with God and my faith is being put to the test this week. For the first time in my life I have a true understanding of what it means to not worry and let God be in control...is it wrong to feel like I am totally rocking this handing it over to God thing? I finally feel as if I have that feeling that people describe when they talk about God having everything under control and it is in His hands. 

If this is what it feels like, why did I not submit to this before now? 

Trust me, I have my moments in the day where my mind stares off into space and I wonder what's next...but there is no explanation as to my attitude towards this other than God is in control. God's faithfulness to my faith in Him is in full swing! It has nothing to do with my actions or anything I have done other than me finally submitting to His will, plan, love, and grace. 

I just lost my job but all I seem to want to do is shout to people how amazing God can be if they only turn to Him!! The best way I can describe it is this... 

You read about a way to help you do a certain daily task that seems so ingenious that it couldn't possibly work but you try it anyway... After you finally give in to what all these people keep talking about is such a fantastic, life-changing thing you realize HEY IT WORKS!! It really works!!

That is how I feel this past week. No I am no comparing God's love and mercy and faith to a life-hack because it is SO much more than that. IT WORKS! It really works!! 

That uncertainty you face day to day, trouble to trouble, worry to worry... when you truly have faith in Christ it seems so much more manageable. It seems so trivial. 

I am so glad that my life and plan rests in God's hands and that His mercy is endless and His grace is more than I deserve.